It has its own story…
Hajni: So, we had the plan, and we had a list of topics to include – issues we felt were the most important for young people, and what knowledge and skills related to those topics would certainly improve the quality of life of all.
After grouping the listed topics, these chapters emerged:
ME – Who I am
ME2 – How I be more effective.
ME WITH OTHERS – Relationships, communication, conflicts.
ME IN THE FUTURE – Who I want to be in the future + setting and achieving goals.
Why do we think all four chapters are important?
ME
Self-awareness is a key to happiness and every young person often wonders who they are. Of course, we had to start the book with this topic!
ME2
Me2, or ‘more effective me’, is about self-improvement: if I know who I am now, I can easily find out what I need to work on to be more effective. In this chapter we show you how to do that. Emotional intelligence (recognizing, interpreting and managing your emotions) and the power of your thoughts are very important: in this chapter you learn what kind of mindset helps you succeed and how you can influence your thoughts for better results.
ME WITH OTHERS
It is scientifically proven that the quality of our relationships is fundamental to the quality of our life. In addition, in my work as a team and relationship coach, I have found that most (if not all) of our problems exist in the context of our relationships.
ME IN THE FUTURE
During adolescence it is not only important to understand who we are, but also to decide who we want to become. This chapter helps to set and achieve goals and addresses the biggest questions: What is the meaning of life? What is happiness? How can I be happy?
All four chapters are relevant for everyone, and the process of brain development during adolescence make them even more relevant for our young readers. As we discuss in the book, ‘brain remodeling’ during puberty supports the development three skills shown below:
Chapters 2 and 3 match two of the above three areas: the development of emotional and social skills.
Ria: We’ve discussed in more details the more specific content of the chapters as well as what messages and knowledge we want to pass on to the youngsters. My wish was that today’s teenagers would not be as self-doubting as I was when I went from primary school in our village Isaszeg to the prestigious high school in Hungary’s capital city Budapest!
Hajni: And I would like if young people were given a chance to learn at the beginning of their lives what took me decades to learn. In my coaching practice I see that leaders are stuck in their 40s and 50s due to lacking this knowledge…
By the end of our first discussion, we chose a few topics that were easiest to get started with. Then we selected from those which one to write first.
The following days we wrote separately our first drafts for those sections. This way the first versions of the following topics were ready within a week:
- Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
- Internal image
- Fixed and Growth Mindset
- Desired Qualities
- My family
- What Do I Like to Do?
- Learn to Study
- Value Inheritance
- Little Me
These are topics that one of us discusses regularly with children or adults. That’s why we had the knowledge in our heads, and we just had to write down the essence of what we knew – translating into the language of youth, of course.
Ria: From February to Easter (2021), we worked on the book without a stop. Pages were added each day as soon we split all the topics. It can be a real advantage if two siblings have similar, yet still slightly different interests! We shared the drafts with each other. Then they were corrected, parts were added, modified or deleted, and at times we completely rewrote a topic. We zoomed, worked on Teams, teleconferenced on Messenger – mostly in the evenings and on weekends with our (mostly) patient families in the background. In the meantime, from March, I spent five weeks teaching online from home due to COVID lockdowns, which gave me more time to do research for the book. Once you start writing, you get hooked: you spend most of your time thinking about it. I’m certainly charged up by a challenge like this!
We also involved my godson’s wife Csilla, a medical expert who lives in Germany. We first asked her to provide feedback and help on the topic of emotions and hormone function. It turned out that she not only knew the ins and outs of human functioning, but that she is also a certified book editor and, what’s more, one of her hobbies is Hungarian language and grammar! She agreed to help with improving the text, so we spent many hours working with her too, improving and polishing the text of the book.
In the meantime, we asked graphic designer (or as she refers to herself: visual communicator) Andi Balázs to illustrate the content of the book in a way that is attractive to teenagers. You can read much more about the team and their experiences in a separate blog, where you’ll see, that her outstanding creative work is key to the quality of the book! One of the reasons young people like the books so much -our readers love Andi’s work (we too :)!
By early April, with the book content mostly finished and the illustrations completed, we thought it was time to test it with proofreaders. We sent the finished material to teachers, psychologists, coach acquaintances, friends and their children, and some of my pupils. “The book is great, we love it! But it feels that the first chapter is for 10–14-year-olds, and the rest is more for 16+!” – we heard in the feedback. So, it turns out we were “pregnant with twin books”! Finally, on the advice of the testers, we split the book in two: a version for 10–15-year-olds and one for ages 16 and up. This is how our “Siamese book twins” became book siblings.
Hajni: In April we started the compiling the content of the two books. The 16+ version was expanded. For the Me Map Teens version, we’ve carefully selected suitable topics: both interesting and relevant to our younger readers. We could naturally share the work between us from then on; I could write more in-depth about the topics for the Young Adults version, and my sister Ria shortened the topics for the other book. Meanwhile, I had regularly consulted about the content with my son Abel, who is doing a Ph.D. in neuroscience. So, at this time four family members were contributing to the books. Later we found out that our niece Ivett is very good at web design, and she became our online consultant, so she joined the family book-team too.
Ria: Actually, when we agreed to write two books, I was a little bit in a shock. What? Two books? I thought we were done! The end of the school year was nearing, a very busy period. Hajni was so enthusiastic about writing that I had to pull myself together! We pulled it through and by mid-June our writer-illustrator team had both books completed. Or so we thought at the time! Well, that’s where the hard work started! From then on, it took another two months of revisions, all online, across the Hungarian-Dutch-German borders. Publishing one book is a lot of work and a huge responsibility, let alone two books! Negotiating with print houses, testing, corrections… I was very happy that Hajni and Csilla did the corrections together while I was finishing the year at the school I am teaching. A million thanks to them!
Hajni. During the second round of testing all feedback was positive. In fact, several people have confirmed that the books are niche products both in Hungary and internationally. There are plenty of self-development books, but almost none that are aimed at this age group, are interactive and include the latest scientific findings. And we are very proud that we still have not seen such beautiful books in this genre as ours: with great illustration and printed in color so our readers say just taking the books in their hand makes them happy.
Let us share some feedback from our proofreaders from 2021:
ME MAP Teens
“Very creative book and interesting too.” Levente, 11 years old
“I absolutely love the book! It kept my attention all the way through, the exercises and illustrations were really fun and helped me understand everything.” Dani, 13 years old
“This book saw through me, because it describes things that (almost) every teenager – or even an adult – faces. I recommend it to anyone who feels lost, lacks self-confidence or just wants to know themselves better.” Vivi, 14 years old
“Dynamic and professionally well-grounded book. It shows you the techniques to make your teenager more successful. I will definitely give it to my sons.” Katalin, mother of three teenagers
“A really great, up-to-date book. I would especially highlight the graphics and fun exercises that make the content even more appealing. I hope it will be used by many parents, teachers and mental health professionals as well as adolescents.” Ágnes Hadnagy, teacher, mentor
“I deeply believe that self-awareness is the basis for a happy life. This extraordinary and niche book will be an excellent companion for all adolescents on their journey of self-awareness.” Annamária Barnóczki, internationally recognised master coach (MCC), organisational psychologist
ME MAP Young Adults
“Fantastic content, a lot of knowledge with little text, creatively written and full of practical tips that I could apply immediately. I have read many comparable books, but nothing like this!” Dorka Hidvégi, 17 years old
“I was afraid at first that it would be boring, but I was quickly captivated! It summarizes everything you need to know in a great way.” Gergő Vass, 18 years old
“Not an ordinary book and a completely new perspective on the subject. Many young people struggle with self-awareness and self-confidence issues – a great help for them!” Angyal Virág, 16 years old
“I liked it a lot! It answers almost all the main problems young people have.” Emilia Lukács, 15 years old
“This book invites its young readers on an exciting inner journey. It makes them think about themselves, makes them see fundamental connections in their own human functioning. I consider it a great classroom lesson material, and I will use it.” Krisztina Ribi, teacher, mentor
“It’s good to see a set of tools that I use as an executive coach and that have worked well with adults (Johari Window, Finish the Sentence, etc.) translated into the language of young people. As a mother of two teenagers, I wish this book would reach as many people as possible!” Laura Komócsin MCC, author of 6 coaching books
“A special book: it puts the knowledge about how our brain works – which is necessary to know ourselves – in the most interesting and practical way possible. Everyone will learn a lot from it!” László Vigh, biochemical stress researcher, professor emeritus, full member of the Hungarian Academy of Sciences
Once again, many thanks to all our proofreaders for their time, feedback and encouragement!
Ria: Many people have suggested that the books should be used in the classroom, so that teens can benefit even more from it working as a group, with adult guidance. This challenge has been accepted, and in January 2022 we published the group leaders’ guide to the books!
By now, the books are used by teachers (for example, as basis for mentor classes), coaches (as part of individual coaching but some run Me Map Clubs for groups of young people based on the books) and other professionals like psychologists or social workers to give color and a creative twist to treatments and client journeys.
