The people within our social circles not only give us advice, provide us with gossips or help us in getting a new job (and sometimes pass on a virus to us), but they also influence our appearance, what we do and how we feel. In other words, they partly determine who we become.
In the Me Map Young Adults book on page 31, you can find the below image with a quote from Jim Rohn:
You can read further on the same page in the book:
According to the latest research, this does not stop at our five friends, but even the friends of our friends have an impact on us! Research shows that if your friend smokes, you are 61% more likely to smoke. Even if your friend doesn’t, but their friends smoke, there’s still a 29% higher chance that you’ll smoke too!
Me Map Young Adults
Research in the United States has also demonstrated that this effect holds true for happiness: even emotions are transmitted through relationships!
The study involved mapping the networks of twelve thousand residents of the town of Framingham and asked participants questions about their happiness levels.
What did they find?
Happy and joyful individuals were mainly connected to other happy and joyful people and were located in denser parts of the network. The unhappier people, on the other hand, were mostly located on the periphery of the network and were connected to fewer people who were also less happy.
Study after study has shown that good relationships make us happier. The Framingham research further reinforced the fact that happier people tend to have happier friends and family members, who in turn also have happier people in their own social circles, This observation is linked to the way human networks affect our emotions and mood.
Specifically, the research found that if you have a happy friend, you are 15% more likely to be happy. This effect extends even beyond our immediate friends: having a happy friend of a friend increases our chances of happiness by 6%. Is 6% a big impact? Other research has shown that an extra income of 2000 euro will increase one’s happiness level by roughly 2%. So, a cheerful friend-of-a-friend has more impact on our happiness than a large lump of money!
Researchers Christakis and Fowler further investigated the cause of this effect. They found that happy people not only ‘infect’ each other with their good moods, but also share their joy in various other ways: by providing financial and other help, inviting their contacts for a drink, and doing all sorts of other good deeds that bring joy to others in their relationship circle. These others will be happier too and will pass on their happiness to their contacts.
What does this all mean?
Firstly, we should be conscious of the fact that our actions affect lots of people, When we do someone a favor, lose weight or quit smoking, not only our immediate family or friends will benefit, but everyone in their circles and even the friends of those as well.
Secondly, if we want to make a change in our lives, it’s wise to consider who we are in contact with, who we spend the most time with. If you want to get better grades, it’s worth studying together with other hard-working students; if you want to quit smoking, it helps to party with non-smokers; if you want to lose weight, you will be better off by spending your free time with people who play sports.
This network effect is not limited to cigarettes and happiness but extends to aspects like weight. According to Christakis and Fowler, overweight people are more likely to have obese friends and even the friends of their friends are also more likely to be overweight. This is partly a consequence of behavioral copying, the scientists say: if we share a table with someone who eats a lot, we also, unconsciously, consume more. But if your friend suddenly becomes an avid runner, it’s easy to join them for a workout.
Furthermore, when we are overweight, it is not only our behavior that changes under the influence of friends, but also what we consider normal. If we gain weight, it becomes ‘normal’ for our friends to be overweight. Consequently, if you gain weight and then your friend’s partner also puts on a few pounds, your friend will be less inclined to comment on it.
You can read more about relationship circles and habit shaping:
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Source: Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks (connectedthebook.com)
